It has been bought to our attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will not longer be tolerated.
However, we do realise the importance of staff being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with other employees. With this in mind, the Human Resources section has compiled a list of code phrase replacements so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risking offence to our more sensitive co-workers.
| OLD PHRASE | NEW PHRASE |
| No fucking way | I'm fairly sure that's not feasible |
| Your fucking kidding | Really |
| Tell someone who gives a fuck | Have you run that by ''.. |
| No cunt told me | I wasn't involved in that project |
| I don't have the fucking time | Perhaps I can work late |
| Who fucking cares | Are you sure that's a problem |
| Eat shit and die | You don't say |
| Eat shit and die, motherfucker | You don't say, Sir |
| Kiss my arse | So, You'd like me to help you |
| He's a fucking prick | He's somewhat insensitive |
| She's a ball butting bitch | She's an aggressive go-getter |
| You have not got a fucking clue! | You could use more training |
| This place is fucked | We're a little disorganised today |
| What sort of fuck-wit are you | You're new here today aren't you |
| Fuck off shit head | Well, there you go |
| You're a fucking wanker | You're my supervisor and I respect you |
| Ha! Suck eggs | I wasn't there that day |
| You're fucking paranoid | So, you're from Sydney |
| You're fucking useless | So, you're from Melbourne |
| Fuck Off | I'll look into that and get back to you |
| Fuck off dickhead | I no longer require your assistance |
| How'd ya get that piece of shit to work | Well done |
| You fucking loser | Gee, that was unfortunate |